2001-01-26 - 12:40:53

I was having sexual relations with myself yesterday, when I noticed that my favorite porn was gone. What could I have done with "Rain Woman 12: Fountains of Youth"? I went outside and noticed that my refridgerator and my Carpenters Greatest Hits album were gone, among other things. Damnit. Dirty strumpet thieves made out with all my good stuff! I'm gonna find these bastards. I need that stuff back. Well, actually, I really just want my Ultralube Fellatio Machine 3000 back. Who the hell would steal that?

(Clues, accusations, and confessions would be once again appreciated in the guestbook.)

Canadian Mode