2001-03-24 - 03:56 p.m.

Well, as it turns out, Elton and the crew, did leave. They even redecorated the place with flowers and rainbows. But that's not even the BIG NEWS!

The BIG NEWS is what they left behind! Sitting on my floor is not one, but TWO Ultralube Fellatio Machine's! It has finally returned to me!

I was thinking of giving the other one away in some sort of contest, but then I decided to keep them both. Just in case, you know?

Or, maybe I'll give one to my friend, the bouncer from the Drunken Kitten. Although, I think he scores enough on his own.

Next time I see Elton John, I'm gonna ask him to autograph my fellatio machine.

Canadian Mode