2000-12-09 - 04:34:39

Some gay guy signed my guestbook. At first I was a little scared (I considered making it an all-straight guestbook), but then I was like, "Hey. Gay guys are pretty cool." My friend Fellatius was gay. He always used to tell me that my elbow was sexy. I think he had some mental problem, and he was never any good at jigsaw puzzles, always trying to put his piece in the wrong place. He was pretty cool, though.

Well, I promised Hallucinogenic Supermarket, but I think gay guys are cooler. So, I went to the store today to buy some cream cheese and salami. There was this guy in the bread aisle who looked like Uncle Sam. He was singing Def Leppard and playing the drums with one arm. The lady at the register asked if I wanted my salami in a bag, and I said, "I think I'll keep it in my pants, thank you." It wasn't 'til I was walking home carrying a cold salami in my right hand that I realized what she meant. Oops, guess I'll stop taking my medicine.

Canadian Mode