2001-03-31 - 2:01 p.m.

I'm so excited! I just got the best news ever! One of my midgets is going to be in a movie!

I'm so excited for her. The movie's gonna be called, Dinky Does Denver. Doesn't that just have a classy ring to it? Pornito Pictures is paying her $4000 for it. I'll be getting a lot of that, because, well, midgets don't need a lot of money, you know? They're small. I'm so excited.

I can't wait to tell her the good news!

Canadian Mode