2001-04-03 - 7:01 p.m.

I've been mangled.

After I told Dinky the good news, I took her to the Drunken Kitten to celebrate her acting debut. When I got there, I was already pretty drunk. (Don't worry, I'd made Dinky drive. Of course, I gave her a couple of phone books and some stilts.)

So, I started making fun of my bouncer friend. Just givin' him a hard time about his new haircut. (He's got a MULLET! Come on, that's just funny!)

The next thing I knew, I had my arms twisted around my head, and my legs tied in a knot, and I was being thrown through wall after wall.

I guess he was having a bad day.

Let this be a lesson to us all. Don't mess with The Big Badass Bouncer.

Canadian Mode