2001-02-21 - 20:28:49

I woke up yesterday morning in a pool of water and silicon, and the cops were standing around my naked body. My first thought was, "Damn! I knew I should have put the lid back on the doughnut box!" They teach them to follow their nose in the academy, you see. My second thought was, "Gee, I wonder why I'm naked and in a pool of water..." Then I remembered. The snowwoman... ahh... snow woman extraordinaire... so busty, so beautiful, so - ahem...

Anyway. So the one cop says to me, "Mr. Boi-oi-oing, we're going to have to ask you to come with us."

"Is this about the illegal cable? Look, I told Winkler, all I wanted was the nudie ones. They don't even work-"

"No, this is about, Yvonna Manchester, the snowwoman," he said.

"What snowwoman?" As I stood up, a baby carrot and two rubber nipples slid out from under me. I knew I was busted.

"Put some clothes on, sir. You're coming with us."

I got my clothes and walked to the kitchen. Two more cops were sitting at my table, faces crusted with powdered sugar and rasberry jelly. The empty doughnut box was on the table next to them. "My doughnuts! You bastards!"

One of them looked at me, and mumbled something that sounded like, "Wadoonus?"

I pointed to the box, "Those doughnuts, you pigs!" Just then something hit me in the back of the head.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting in an interrogation room, under a gigantic fucking 800 watt lamp. It turns out that Yvonna, snowmistress extraordinaire was underage.

So, here I sit in jail, waiting for someone to send me a cake with a file in it, but since I don't know how to pick a lock with a file, I'd probably just eat it.

Someone break me out... please... someone...

Canadian Mode